


Cutthroat Carter

by truth_renowned



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Cutthroat Kitchen - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, Implied Peggy Carter/Daniel Sousa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:27:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7222297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truth_renowned/pseuds/truth_renowned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Agent Carter/Cutthroat Kitchen humor AU. 'Nuff said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cutthroat Carter

**Author's Note:**

> Alton Brown portrayed as his Cutthroat Kitchen persona, because his CK persona is evil. Evil is fun.
> 
> For thecoldestginger, for the prompt. You know better than to prompt me.

Alton Brown walks into the production room. Bob the director (yes, his name really is Bob, poor guy) summoned him… not really summoned because no one summons Alton Brown… but requested his very busy presence to view the newest contestants. Bob swears this will be The Most Epic Episode Ever. Bob swears that with every episode.

With a sigh, Alton sits in a chair and stares at Bob. “Well?”

“A.B., you’re going to love this.”

He gives Bob a ‘sure, whatever’ look.

“Just wait until you see these intro videos. All four contestants know each other. Three of them work at rival restaurants across the street from each other. One is the billionaire-turned-chef friend of one of them. This is ratings gold, A.B.! Gold!”

Bob hits a button on the console and a beautiful female face fills the screen. Reddish-brown hair, intense brown eyes, bright red lips, alluring smile.

_“Hello. My name is Chef Peggy Carter. I own an Italian restaurant in Manhattan.”_

Bob pauses the tape. “She’s a looker, isn’t she? And that British accent!”

Alton tilts his head, his idea of approval. He twirls his index finger in the air, indicating for Bob to keep the tape rolling. Bob gets the hint and hits the button again.

_“I decided to open my own restaurant because every time I went for spaghetti in New York, no one would serve me. One woman even gave me the sign of the horns and called me the Devil. So I opened my own restaurant and called it The Devil. I am focused, fearless and will take down these gents without breaking a sweat.”_

The tape goes black. Bob looks to Alton for approval. All Alton does is raise his shoulders slightly.

“Just wait, A.B. It gets better.”

Bob hits the button again and a man’s face fills the screen. He’s a real Howard Hughes type: slicked back dark hair, pencil-thin mustache, a smirk that says he knows something you need to know. He’s looking to the left of the camera instead of into it.

_“Hi, there. My name is Chef Howard Stark. What’s yours, sweetheart?”_

Off-screen is a giggle, then: _“Ashley.”_

Alton’s eyebrow quirks. Ashley the production assistant.

_“Hi, Ashley. I’m here on Cutthroat Kitchen to show everyone my mad kitchen skills.”_

Another off-screen voice, this one with a sharp British accent: _“Howard, you barely even know where your kitchen is. You couldn’t boil a pot of water.”_

The man’s smirk doesn’t move. _“Don’t listen to her. She’s just jealous about how good I am in the kitchen. I’m good in every room, actually. Ashley, see me later and I’ll show you.”_

Another off-screen giggle from Ashley and an _“oh brother”_ from Chef Peggy.

Alton looks at Bob. “Really?” 

“Trust me,” Bob says, hitting another button on the console.

A blonde man’s face fills the screen. His hair is slicked back, and he squints at the camera, trying to look sexy but coming off as smarmy.

_“I’m Chef Jack Thompson. I am the executive chef of the most exclusive restaurant in New York, Dooley’s. I make all of the cuisine decisions in my restaurant--”_

_“No you don’t.”_ This comes from a voice off-screen.

The blonde sets his jaw. _“Shut up, Sousa. Now where was I.”_

The off-screen voice again: _“You were talking about how you are God’s gift to cuisine. Which you aren’t.”_

The blonde shoots a dirty look off-screen, then turns back to the camera. _“I am here on Cutthroat Kitchen to win. And I will win because no one here can touch me.”_

Off-screen voice: _“Who would want to touch you?”_

The blonde squints harder as the screen goes black.

“Interesting,” Alton says. “Keep going.”

Bob hits the button and another man’s face appears on the screen. This one has thick dark hair, interesting features, big ears. The camera likes him.

_“Hi, I’m Chef Daniel Sousa, and I am the chef de cuisine for Dooley’s. I am in charge of the menu and all new creations.”_

Off-screen voice belonging to the blonde: _“When he’s not spending his time looking out the window making googly eyes at Chef Peggy across the street.”_

The only reaction from the brunette is the tips of his ears turning red.

_“My style of cooking is flavorful, adventurous and always successful.”_

Blonde off-screen: _“Unlike his love life.”_

The brunette suddenly leaves the screen and the sound of a scuffle ensues until the tape goes black.

Alton keeps looking at the blank screen. He steeples his fingers, raising them to his face. A smile grows on his lips, an evil, Grinch-like smile.

This will be The Most Epic Episode Ever.


End file.
